Stutz and Rumi

Have you watched Stutz, actor Jonah Hill’s documentary about his therapist?

(It’s available on Netflix.)

I was so touched by Jonah and Phil’s tender relationship, and Stutz’s acceptance of his own life difficulties. Though (it seems) Stutz and I come from different orientations as therapists, he reminded me of what can be universal in therapy: someone holding space for us in our most vulnerable moments, and helping us see our lives with more compassion and perspective.

Stutz talks about “activating your life force”—and how the biggest part of this is tending your relationship with yourself:

“The only way to find out what you should be doing with who you are is to activate your life force, because your life force is the only thing that’s capable of guiding you when you’re lost.”

What continues to come to mind as I reflect on the movie, is the freedom available to us when we see our lives with more perspective; when we become the hero of our story, rather than seeing the difficulties of our lives as evidence of our shortcomings. It’s, again, the dance of acceptance and change: acknowledging what IS—the pieces we lack control over— so we can step into what’s possible.

I’m reminded of this poem:

The Guest House
by Rumi

​This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

​A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

​The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

​Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

May you find compassion and perspective for your own life this week,

Laura

Stay Soft is a weekly newsletter written by me, Laura Holway, dedicated to cultivating a more tender relationship with ourselves, one another, and the beautiful and hard parts of being human. I’m an artist, embodiment nerd, and psychotherapist, currently finishing my master’s degree in psychological counseling. Learn more about Stay Soft and view archives via the button below.