getting free inside ourselves

〰 Rev. angel, Dr. Becky & understanding ourselves 〰

When I think about desiring more softness in my life, and what this means exactly, this quote from writer Rev. angel Kyodo Williams comes to mind:

Yesterday I was listening to an interview will psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams and she said something that struck me as related:

I believe that a big part of work in therapy (that’s certainly not limited to therapy—we can so this for ourselves too) is getting curious about the way our earliest experiences (childhood!) shaped us. About how we adapted to feel safety and belonging within our families.

The point of this isn’t to blame our parents, or to get stuck in guilt soup regarding our own parenting, or to feel pangs of regret and grief (though you might, and that’s ok).

The point is that it helps us know ourselves—and hopefully with that knowing, begin to get free from the patterns that no longer serve us.

I’m a big fan of the work of Dr. Becky Kennedy, best known for her work as a parenting coach.

But her interview on the You Can Do Hard Things podcast last year (she’s now done 3) is certainly not just about parenting—but about understanding ourselves in the context of early experiences, and learning to give ourselves more of what we might not have received.

It’s interesting, important, compassion-provoking stuff. You can click to listen to Breaking Cycles & Reparenting Yourself with Dr. Becky Kennedy on Good Inside Podcast.

I’d love to hear: What’s supporting your softening? What gets in the way?

Stay Soft is a weekly newsletter written by me, Laura Holway, dedicated to cultivating a more tender relationship with ourselves, one another, and the beautiful and hard parts of being human. I’m an artist, embodiment nerd, and psychotherapist, currently finishing my master’s degree in psychological counseling. Learn more about Stay Soft and view archives via the button below.